Dear Mrs Silva
Jardine Winchesterson-Gotha,
You have recently
celebrated your 82nd birthday and you should know that your life
certificate is now nearing its expiry date. Your life certificate is due to
expire on March 31 coming. After this date you will meet your own demise and
your personal extinction. No doubt the aliments, illnesses aches and medical
problems you signed up for and agreed to at the beginning of your life contract
will now be making their presence felt.
Please note that
no extension to your life certificate is available and penalties apply to
persons continuing to exist after the agreed expiry date. God Corp employs the
services of Death to collect overdue accounts and Death is a debt collection agency
with a 100% recovery rate.
We suggest you
use your remaining time to put your affairs in orders, finalise wills, settle
debts and advise your friends and family of your forthcoming demise.
We at God Corp trust
you have used your allowed life span to maximum advantage and have availed
yourself of opportunities as they have presented themselves. God Corp thanks
you for choosing us as your life delivery and despatch service provider.
Finally, God Corp
wishes to extend its condolences to you and your family in what after all will
be a difficult time for you and your family. We wish you well in your future endeavours. It
has been a pleasure to have your custom for this now expiring service.
If you have any
inquiries please do not hesitate to contact God Corp for assistance or for clarification
of any issues related to this letter.
Yours sincerely
Jeffrey Daniels
Expiry Services
Manager
